Background:
Mom was born in 1915 in DuBois, PA. She and Dad eloped on her birthday in 1936. They were married for 68 years. She was an artist, interior decorator, and administrator of a retirement home.
On retiring they moved to Arizona. After a year of boredom as a gift shop clerk, she opened another art and decorating business. She took up carving until her hands no longer responded. Her art adorns homes of family and friends, and her hand-carved Santas appear at Christmas to celebrate a life of giving. She loved to sing, and sang old hymns from memory until her final days.
Mom was a woman of strong beliefs, firm principles and wonderful talents.
Faith:
She was clear in her faith; she died without questions. During a discussion with my Dad about beliefs and world religion, Mom appeared befuddled. When I asked her what she thought, seemingly out of context, she said, “I just know.” She lived unquestionably in the light of Christ.
Cleanliness and Courtesy:
“Cleanliness is next to godliness.” She repeated that lesson to Jack and me. Mom forbade us to get dirty. It was a lesson we did not embrace. Maybe, that is why Jack still digs into greasy car engines and I dig in the dirt. “We also were forbidden to:
Run up (or down) the stairs;
Wear hats at the table or have elbows on it;
Wear hats inside at all for that matter; and
Interrupt anyone, particularly adults.
Modesty and Industriousness:
Jack: Mom wouldn’t go to church without gloves and a hat or at least a scarf.
Michael: Mom was modest to the point of appearing shy. Her talents far exceeded her self-appraisal. She sold her art at craft-value, demurred to friends’ accolades, and always found something amiss with her own cooking. If asked, she would likely say that she was an underachiever when in fact she was exceptional.
Janie, my friend/sister: Louise was never was idle. She always had a project, was reading a book or was learning something new. Whatever she learned there was some little thing she figured out that made the product better than the teacher’s. I once made a dress for myself and applied her instructions. Everyone wanted to know where I had learned to 'set in' a sleeve like that. I proudly told them, but she never would.
Frugality:
Michael: Mom was a Scotswoman. She maximized anything and saved everything. At Christmas, she would decorate only the lids of boxes so they could be reused. Later she would receive a gift she had wrapped and remark how nice the wrapping was having forgotten it was hers.
Jack: She would rather re-cane a chair than hire someone, re-upholster furniture than buy new, make slipcovers, hook a rug, paint brickwork, or any number of things her fingers knew how to do. Her attitudes and skills were like her faith; she just knew.
Stewardship:
Doug: Grandma’s home was immaculate: a place for everything and everything in its place. Everything matched. The plates matched the placemats, furniture matched the drapes, and I think even the toilet lid matched the tissue box.
Michael: Decorating was her passion. Our house was under constant renewal.
“Frank, don’t you think the house would look better without that clunky front porch.” “Frank, don’t you think it would be better if the door was where the window is and the window… Those seem like standard remodeling challenges, but we lived in a duplex. Whatever she wanted, she had to convince our neighbor to do the same thing. She was a persuasive woman because the porches came off, and the doors swapped places with the windows.
Hospitality:
Michael: Mom loved to entertain. There were the bridge years when the ladies would gather for an afternoon of cards. She put inordinate preparation into what I thought was just a card game. For Mom there was a proper way to do everything. How many Shanty Irish kids in the coal-mining towns of Pennsylvania grew up with napkin rings on the table?
Doug: My grandparents came to visit each winter until I was eight. While I have memories of their “Snow Bird” lifestyle, most began after they moved to Arizona.
Grandma’s house was spotless, but I never had the feeling that my brother and I weren’t allowed to make ourselves at home. I don’t remember a time when we were not allowed to spread toys, books, or games out anywhere we wanted. I also remember picking up our messes before creating any new ones. I spent nights there and never felt like a guest. Those feelings of love and acceptance were not limited to childhood.
I like to think that I was not an exceptionally challenging teenager. I did experiment with different styles of hair and dress. I probably got that gene from my father. But in the years I saw my grandmother, never did I feel that she thought less of me or judged me. Each time I visited, whether I had a new earring or hair to my shoulders, or wore an army jacket with peace symbols pinned to it, she would greet me with a smile, a hug, and a kiss on the cheek. As important as cleanliness and tidiness were to her, having her family was more important.
Michael: Mom was a great cook though prone to experimentation, often on guests. Most of us do not think sauerkraut and carrots in Jell-O is a very good idea; but I can tell you she made fruit cake that even the most cynical of you would enjoy.
Janie: She loved the beach. Once she was so anxious to get there that she forgot the boiling eggs and had to scrub them off the ceiling when she returned home. I enjoyed the story because she made few mistakes, but she laughed at herself when she told of them.
Laughter and golf:
Drew: I am selfishly thankful that Grandma lived such a long life because I got to know, appreciate and love her as an adult in ways that I never could have as a child.
I am surprised the sound of her laughter interrupts my memories because I expected her reserved manner would be the more lasting impression. I hear her distinctive laugh, chuckling gently with “Oh dear” or “Well I’ll be” slipped in for grandmotherly measure.
My other lasting image is of conversation. The scene was always the same: we sat in their front room. She listened joyously and undistracted; or only slightly distracted if on a Sunday one of her golfers was in contention. She shared stories and pictures of cousins, uncles or friends she loved and cared about. She was proud of her family and friends, and I was proud to be among them. The idea of quiet conversation doesn’t sound extraordinary, but it was part of a relationship unique to any others I had. I know others shared these times with her as well though they heard the exploits of Andrew and Douglas. Those threads of conversation kept us connected to family that we didn’t often see or had only briefly met. We were connected through Grandma and her joys.
I think that she is in a place where she has good conversation and laughter, I hope there’s some good golf there, too.
Old-fashioned:
Jack: If I were to sum up Mom’s life in a word, it would be old-fashioned. Mom had old-fashioned values. Mom believed:
God comes first, family next;
good manners are always important;
youngsters should respect their elders;
one should always speak well of others;
it is important to finish every task;
we should be creative, industrious, and honest; and
we are to honor the “Golden Rule.”
Mom just knew.
Michael: Oh, that we all would know so well.
