McFictionary: Variations on “I Owe My Mother!”

For Mother’s Day a friend sent me a list of things learned from her mother called "I Owe My Mother."  I thought it might be a good McFictionary topic to share with you.

	My mother taught me:	The McFictionary corollary:
1.	TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:  "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."	TO DEPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: “If you’re going to kill each other, wait till after dinner.   I already set the table.”
2.	RELIGION:  "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."	FREELIGION:  "You better pay for that to come out of the carpet."
3.	TIME TRAVEL:  "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"	TIME RAVEL:  "If you don't straighten out, I’ll straighten you out right now!"
4.	LOGIC:  "Because I said so, that’s why.”	BLOGIC: Posting “Because I said so, that’s why” on the web”
5.	FORESIGHT:  "Be sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."	SORESIGHT:  Result of your accident and your forgetfulness
6.	IRONY:  "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."	CRYRIONY: What you got when you kept on crying.
7.	OSMOSIS:  "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."	BOSSMOSIS:  Saying “Shut your mouth and eat your supper” to your child
8.	CONTORTIONISM:  "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"	MONTORTIONISM:  “Bob, will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"  ~Mrs. Marley  (Think about it)
9.	STAMINA:  "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."	STAYMINA:  The ability to sit there until someone else eats the spinach
10.	WEATHER:  "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."	MERRIWEATHER:  Contented with the tornado motif in your room
11.	BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:  "Stop acting like your father!"	BEHAVIOR MODERNIFICATION:  “Stop acting like your other father.”
12.	ENVY:  "There are millions of less fortunate children who don't have wonderful parents like you do.	GENVY:  “There are millions of less fortunate children who don’t have your genes.”
13.	ANTICIPATION:  "Just wait until we get home."	TANTICIPATION:  Knowing what you’d get when you got home
14.	RECEIVING:  "You are going to get it when you get home!"	DECEIVING:  You didn’t get it when you got home
15.	MEDICAL SCIENCE:  "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."	MEDICINAL SCIENCE:  “If you don’t stop rolling your eyes, you are going to get it when you get home.”
16.	HUMOR:  When that mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.	PHUMOR:  “When your feet stink, don’t come running to me.”
17.	GENETICS:  "You're just like your father."	GERENETICS:  “You’re just like your old father.”
18.	ROOTS:  "Shut that door behind you. You think you born in a barn?"	ROOTSBEER: “Shut that door behind you. Were you born in a brewery?”
19.	WISDOM:  "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."	WHIZDOM:  “When you get to be my age, you’ll understand going to the bathroom a lot.”
20.	JUSTICE:  "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"	JUST-ICED:  Having kids that turned out just like me.