Don't You Just Wish? ... Axes to Grind

Don’t you just wish . . .

. . . “new and improved” laundry soap was really new or improved?  (It can’t be both.  If it is new, it isn’t improved over the old; it is different.  Maybe, they should advertise new and different “Dubbly Bubbly.”)

. . . cars smelled new after you buy them?  (Of course what we smell is the petro-chemical emissions from the plastics in the car.  We may not want to do that.)

. . . the new car fragrance in car washes actually smelled like new cars?  (If it were so, it would be such a great improvement over the actual chemical vapors of a new car.)

Don’t you just wish . . .

. . . all those dogs that people tell you don’t bite really don’t?  (Those of us who have been bitten know all dogs bite; they are dogs, genetically descended from wolves – nocturnal hunters – carnivores.)

. . . schools allowed kids to be kids instead of pressuring them to succeed on arbitrary tests so the school can hang a “Performing Plus” sign on its wall? (Enough said.)

. . . we new why “Able’s Knot Abel Two Reed”? (Ore nose how too spell. A response is in the offing.)

Don’t you just wish . . .

. . . game announcers announced games instead of opining and pontificating,

or even better yet . . .

. . . game announcers would be quiet and allow us to watch the game, and . . .

. . . the sports pages in newspapers looked less like the crime report and more like a game report?  (I never need an announcer to describe what I am seeing when I attend a game; and I don’t think the outcome of the game is decided by what bimbo the tight end is assaulting or what punning the pundits pun.)

Don’t you just wish . . .

. . . politicians and special interest groups ran TV ads extolling accomplishments,  or more realistically the activities, of their own candidates instead of ads attacking their opponents? (The only people benefitting are the writers and media producers; well at least someone is getting paid to write.)

. . . when a candidate says, “... and I endorse this message,” that s/he endorsed the idea as well as the ad and his/her word was good? (The obvious thought here is that this is just too much to ask for, much less expect.  Yes, I am jaded on this.)

. . . people were more concerned with their elected officials than rock stars’ dates, athletes’ errors, and the Hollywood crowd? (However, if/when a politician does commit a crime, has an affair, or says something non-p.c., s/he attains immediate celebrity status. Sadly, “when” seems to be the operant word.)

Don’t you just wish . . .

What do you wish were just so?