(Reprint rights are granted with acknowledgement though I am not sure why anyone would want to do that.)
Word | Meaning | |
Absentee shallot | n. | Ballot cast by voter who checked his brain at the door (Blend of shallow and ballot) |
Affront-runner | n. | An arrogant leading candidate |
Ballacy | n. | The notion a given candidate will make changes because of our vote (Blend of ballot and fallacy) |
Bifameral | adj. | Families with members of both parties |
Blandslide | n. | A big win, but no one cared |
Blobyists | n. | One who stains the democratic system (See slobyists) |
Blurality | n. | A candidate’s misguided notion the people are with him/her (Blend of blur and plurality) |
Camplaign | n. | What we have heard for months on end (Blend of complain and campaign) |
Challengerm | n. | Incumbent’s opponent |
Conservatscism | n. | Political position related to divide and conquer (See “liberalscism”) |
Damnidates | n. | All candidates to a diatributor (See diatributor) |
Deactivist | n. | Loser |
Deficitcation | n. | The financial outcome regardless of who is elected (Blend of deficit and defecation) |
Delegrate | n. | Elected official who immediately forgets who sent him/her (Blend of delegate and ingrate) |
Democranonize | v. | Reverent references to former Democratic presidents (Blend of Democrat and canonize – See Republicanonize) |
Diatributor | n. | Person whose verbal contribution is always negative (Blend of diatribe and contributor) |
Electorhate | v. | Attitudes and actions of the diatributors |
Eluctability | adj. | Ability to get elected by luck |
Erriteration | n. | Misstatement (Blend of error and iteration) |
Fartisan | n. | A non-discerning political supporter who is obviously just full of gas |
Foealition | n. | Groups that are against everyone (See diatributor) |
Foebias | n. | The other parties’ fear of your party |
Gallitician | n. | A person in the political arena who thinks s/he can say anything and we will believe it Blend of gall and politician – This may be redundant.) |
Glandslide | n. | The bad feeling in your groin when the other party wins big |
Goattails | n. | Backing a losing candidate |
Goondoggle | n. | Condition created by the misleading ads of special interest groups |
Hardassionate | adj. | 1) Tough love (Blend of hard and compassionate) 2) What we need to be when we cast our ballot |
House of Reprehensators | n. | That which too often remains even after the election (Blend of Representative, reprehensible and Senator) |
Inbumbent | n. | Representative who fails to live up to his/her promises |
Incongretent | adj. | Unable to restrain from raising taxes (Blend of incontinent and congress) |
Indemofy | v. | Attempt by the Democrats to “protect” the country against the Republications and insure their selection (Blend of indemnify and democrat – See Republicandied) |
Jademocracy | adj. | A misguided belief that our system of government can survive without the stewardship of the electorate (Blend of jaded and democracy) |
Karmandate | n. | Candidate’s misguided belief s/he is destined to lead |
Liberalscism | n. | Political position relating to conquer and divide (See conservatscism) |
Mudstinging | n. | Personally hurtful claims made in poltitrical ads (See politrics) |
Nausealeum | n. | Place for campaign ad producers to reside |
Nonpartysan | n. | Attendee at the loser’s function |
Open crimary | n. | Primary election in which the voters cry about the lack of qualified candidates in all parties |
Political Detraction Committee (PDC) | n. | Group dedicated to denigrating the opposing candidate (Detraction: Blend of detract and action) |
Politrics | n. | Process of applying the golden rule of governance: “Do unto others before they do unto you.” (Also, often stated as “He who has the gold makes the rules.) |
Prestinct | n. | Politrical area defined by the ruling party at the time to create a selectoral advantage (Blend of precinct and stink) |
Quorumph | n. | Disregard for the minority |
Re-erriterate | v. | The need to persist in being wrong because of the seniority system in Congress (See erriteration) |
Republicandied | adj. | Term describing syrupy statements made by Republican candidates to assuage the masses’ fears (See indemofy) |
Republicanonize | v. | Reverent homage to former Republican presidents (See Democanonize) |
Retchics | n. | Basis for some candidates campaign tactics (Blend of retch and ethics) |
Sindulgence | n. | The electorate’s acceptance of our candidates’ actions |
Slobyists | n. | One who strains the democratic system (See blobyists) |
Splatform | n. | The loser’s program |
Sticket | v. | Voting straight ticket |
Stunningmate | n. | Handsome jogger in Australia (I just threw that one in; it has nothing to do with anything – as though the rest does.) |
Sufferages | n. | Our condition during the eons spent on political campaigns (Blend of suffer and ages) |
Termliminate | v | Action taken to terminate an inbumbent (Blend of terminate and term limit – See inbumbent) |
Unicamel | adj. | Political animal symbol no longer in existence except in Nebraska (Blend of unicameral and camel) |
Vote with your fleet | v. | Action taken by U.S. to insure flee elections in third world nations (I am not sure about this one; it came from Rosanna Anna Dana. It may have been free erections.) |
Womendment | n. | The Nineteenth Amendment |
XYsleaZy Affair | n. | Elected officials continued use of clandestine affairs and subterfuge regarding their accountability to their consti-tuents (You try to find compopositives using X, Y & Z) |
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