90% of the Time

Since 2001, American public schools have been guided by the expectations of the Elementary and Secondary Education Act known as No Child Left Behind, NCLB. The act was based on assumedly positive intent and certainly lofty goals. The very first statement in the law from the president speaks to this. “These reforms express my deep belief in our public schools and their mission to build the mind and character of every child, from every background, in every part of America.” ~ President George W. Bush, January 2001.  The noble purposes of the law include:

• All students will achieve high academic standards by attaining proficiency or better in reading and mathematics by the 2013–2014 school year.
• Highly qualified teachers will teach all students
• All students will be educated in schools and classrooms that are safe, drug free, and conducive to learning.
• All limited English proficient students will become proficient in English.
• All students will graduate from high school.

It is the “all students” expectation that has created the bug-a-boo in the work of schools and teachers. All of anything much less that of academic achievement is a noble goal but a virtual impossibility. On that premise I have chosen to look at it from the potential realism of 90% success in the hope of finding attainable and workable instructional goals.

To this end I thought I would share with you a letter I sent a teacher friend on opening day at his school in San Diego. It is one of those "statistics can be used to prove anything" premises that is used by our government to determine the “success” of our teachers and schools.

Ron,

Have a great first day! I assumed you showed up because you are so apt to say, "Ninety percent of life is just showing up." I quote you on that even though I know you are quoting Woody Allen. He actually said, “Eighty percent of success is showing up.” Success as a teacher is the issue here and 90% instructional success is the goal. Your quote led me to examine if ninety percent of life is truly just showing up  because it may be possible to achieve success if the teachers and students simply show up to school.

What I learned is:

Experience has taught me, “Nine out of ten people who change their minds are wrong the second time, too.” That is 90% for the mathematically challenged.

We know from the mouth of Henry Kissinger, “Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad name.”

Meg Greenfield taught me, “Ninety percent of politics is deciding whom to blame.” As the new social studies department chair this is important for you to know and to follow judiciously.

From Yogi Berra we learn, “Ninety percent of putts that are short don't go in,” and “Ninety percent of the game is half mental.”

What can be surmised from all this?

Since you cannot afford to not show up at least 90% of the time, then you may as well not change your mind if you plan to stay home or go play golf because 90% of the time that is a mistake.

Now that you hold the political title of a department chairman as well as teacher, you can figure that 90% of the time you will give other teachers and chairpersons a bad name. If you don’t know whom to blame at least 90% of the time, your percentages on the prior tenet triple.

Therefore, given that 90% of the time you are making wrong choices the first and second time, and applying that premise to whom to blame, you can surmise that 180% of the time you end up getting blamed by the 90% who give you a bad name in the first place. You are now in debt a minimum of 270% of the time in your potential for instructional success.

Ergo, you may just as well make the wrong choice and go play golf where only 90% of the time is the game half mental and 90% of the time your short putts don’t go in. The wrong choice adds up to only a 180% instructional deficit meaning that you are ahead 90% of the time by golfing over teaching. (270% teaching - 180% golfing = 90% of the time). This is the abridged version; a complete analysis of your condition would demand use of the complete formula that is known only to 90% of the other 10% of statisticians.

I conclude that 90% of life isn’t just showing up; and 90% of the time if you want to become a successful professional teacher, you need to pursue a career in professional golf.

Have a successful first day teaching at least 90% of the time,

~ Michael

p.s. If 90% of the students show up 90% of the time, then you could have an 81% success rate. So, I think Woody Allen might have been right in the first place.

p.s.s. “These reforms express my deep belief in 90% of our public schools and their mission to build 90% the mind and character of 90% of children, from 90% of their backgrounds, in 90% of America.” ~ Michael McCabe, One Teacher Left Behind