I Said It. Didn't You Hear Me?

I said what I meant.  Why can’t you understand me? Well, at least I thought I said what I meant.

      Speaking and listening should be an easy, obvious interchange of the language.  Oh yeah!  Try that one your spouse, girl or boy friend, kids, or better yet mother-in-law.  Try listening to a politician.   Remember Alan Greenspan?  Wasn’t he perfectly clear in everything he said?

      Communication should be easy, but the obvious part?  That definitely is obviously NOT.  The interplay of conversation though intended to be direct seldom is so.  There are just too many variables.  Look at the following combinations of just a one-way conversation.

I said . . . You heard.

I thought I said . . . You thought you heard.                         

I meant . . . You thought I meant.

      There are nine combinations here, and eight of them lead to miscommunication.  There is only an 11% chance of communicating in a single statement.  That is not real reassuring.  Communicating in this context means “common understanding.”  When engaged in a dialogue of two statements the chances double, or is it triple?  I am a writer not a statistician. 

      The point is that in on-going conversations the opportunities for misunderstanding expand astronomically.  This does not even take into consideration differences in background, region, experience, expectations, much less gender.  Yes, folks there are gender differences in how we listen just like there are cultural differences.  There are at least a gazillion influences that can facilitate or impede our understanding of each other.  I imagine that gender inclusion will raise some hackles.  That's probably fodder for another post.

Don’t you wonder how people ever communicate at all?  Consider the following:

You heard what I said.  OR

You heard what you thought I said.   OR

You heard what you thought I meant.

You heard what I said … possibly.

You heard what you thought I said … likely.

You heard what you thought I meant … even more likely.

You heard what I said, 

            but thought I meant something else 

                         for whatever reason.

I thought I said what I meant, 

            but I didn’t; and            

                          you only heard what I said.

You heard what I thought I said

            and meant, and

                          you thought what I said is what I meant.                                                              

Can you spell blue moon?  . . .

Can            you          imagine
trying    to         communicate
               solely            through 
the      written            word?

Scary thought, isn’t it?

Have a great day communicating out there.

It makes me wonder, "Why is it that I became a writer? 

“I Said It. Didn’t You Hear Me?”

Copyright © 2010  Michael J. McCabe

All Rights Reserved