In my continuing quest to determine how life is affected by changes in the language, I examined new entries in the dictionary. Some of them play on me directly; others do not, but I am always ready to assess my personal station in life. Like most of us, I have experienced “baggravation,” the feeling of annoyance and frustration at the airport when your baggage has not arrived but the other passengers' bags have.
Most of my life I was a “nonliner;” the only line was a “party line” so I was never a “screenager.” I learned etiquette so I didn’t have to learn “netiquette. I was a “recessionist” dressing stylishly on a tight budget but didn’t know it. We just thought it was the sensible thing to do. I was once a “smirt,” a smoking flirt, but fortunately never a “slumdog.”
I have learned that I am a “netizen.” We are told we live in a “meritocracy,” where individual effort determines one’s success; but we then are labeled as part of the “overworking class,” a desire or need to work long hours. Isn’t there a Catch 22 there? Many of us are in the “sandwich generation,” who care for their children and their elderly parents. I split that duty, but I remember when I couldn’t keep a couple of teenagers in sandwiches. Maybe it is because they never got to be “screenagers” more interested in their computers than food.
I have always said that I am a vegetarian unless there is meat, poultry or fish around. Now I find out I am a “Flexitarian.” I thought I was layed off, let go, fired, not invited back, or at least retired, but what really happened is that I was “decruited.” My generation had “near beer;” this generation has “mocktails.” That must be some form of “bartini” that you can only get at “Shirley’s Temple’s.”
I have been waiting for my first “greycation,” going on holiday or vacation with grandparents in order to reduce the cost. I hope that would be my cost. As it is I am relegated to “staycations.” I thought I would go to a hotspot. Now, I find out there are “hotspots” and “notspots.” Hot spots used to be great night clubs, and I thought “notspots were the place in the brain where “senior moments” occur.
Some words catch on others don’t, “Dramedy,” and “Infotainment” have great appeal but “infoetry” has yet to catch on. I wonder why. “My son Drew learned this at an early age. In the era of the Six Million Dollar Man his word “gionic” for big and strong didn’t make it. He thought if we have an armpit, we should have a “kneepit.” You haven’t heard runners using that one much. I do give him credit though for once describing “bling-bling” as ebonomatopoeia.
Not all new words are new or improved. “Infomaniacs” are constantly checking and responding to email and text messages. It was easier when infomaniacs were just the geeks among us. We are in the “Noughties,” the years between 2000 and 2009 which contain a 'nought' (zero) like the 'thirties', 'sixties', etc. More creative use of that term was made when it referred to ladies’ lacey underwear, or better yet to the women who wore them. “Buskers” are performers on the streets and other public places while soliciting donations. I think we called them hookers. Yes, I took license with that one, but hookers have been known to sing, play and juggle.
During staycations I go to restaurants that have “jumbrellas.” If things keep enlarging, will we soon be seeing “Jumbrian” immigrants, immense fellows from central Italy or “jumbrage,” taking great offense at something? Will jumbilical be the condition of having a humungous belly button? I better get out of this or I might be eating jumblepie. These are hardly serious questions and certainly deserve less than serious answers. I would love to hear your best.
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