When you get to be my age, the age of gray, one of two things happens. You either learn you have more axes to grind, or you ignore more things, accepting them as unchangeable. I chose the former. So, I am taking liberty to use this venue to sharpen some of my axes. Like others in my generation, I am bothered by changes I see in society.
Discord often arises simply out of the generational differences. Each generation sets itself apart in music, dress, hairstyle or language, and in the current generation – body art and piercings. Of course, the new generation’s music is too loud, coarse, profane, and indecipherable, but this is an issue on which I can say, “Except for the profanity, it is what it is.”
We used to go to concerts and were quiet so we could hear the music. Today’s young people go to concerts to be part of the concert and to party. The music has to be loud to be heard over the din. The nature of concerts has changed. Is it better or worse? That depends almost entirely on your perspective. Society has not changed; practices at an event have.
Mohawks, skin heads, purple hair or punk cuts are no different than the D.A.s of my generation. Hairstyles come and go; they grow out and are cut. Dress styles are a product of mass marketing and will change again. The baggy clothes of the 2000s are no sillier than the skin tight jeans of the 1950s or the zoot suits and flappers of the 1920s. Do they signal a decline in our society? I don’t think so. They are just fads.
Changes in our language and its use are another issue. I believe how you speak represents how you think so I attend to changes in language. They indicate changes in how a new generation is thinking. I see changes in people’s ability to communicate and relate with one another with courtesy and respect. I see changes that represent a lack of understanding of role and empathy toward others.
Words that once were expletives and heard only in bars and boy’s locker rooms are now used as adjectives by both genders. Though their crudity is sad and shameful, more importantly their use creates emotional chasms between people. Their very crassness connotes a lack of caring and respect for the sensitivities of people who would no more talk that way than spit at someone. Their public use indicates a willingness to ignore other people’s needs and wants.
When people lose the sense of what they are doing because their word choice no longer connotes an act’s meaning, there is a problem. It is not just the use of vulgarity that is changing; some changes are more subtle. To wit, examine the phrase “No problem.”
As it is used today, “No problem” ignores the very connotation of the phrase it is replacing, “You’re welcome.” When I ask for help in a store the clerk answers me with, “No problem.” When I ask for an item in a restaurant the server answers “No problem.” The checker at the counter replies “No problem” to my “Thank you” for helping me.
“No problem!” It shouldn’t be; I am the customer. When did it become an accepted practice for a worker to tell a customer that responding to his or her request is not a problem? Doesn’t that mean that the worker views my presence or question as a potential problem? If someone whose role is to serve others thinks in doing so there is “No problem” there is a problem. If the worker says “No problem” rather than “You’re welcome” am I not welcome? Shouldn’t I be welcomed by the very workers employed by the store?
When I call the help line for my computer the accented reply to my query is, “No problem.” Well, it was a big problem to me, or I would not have called. Is the customer service rep on the other side of the world discounting my problem? Or is he saying my call was not a problem? Even people from another culture have taken up the lingo of younger generation. Is our society in decline? If you think the courtesy of “You’re welcome” cannot be replaced with the arrogance of “No problem,” the answer is yes. If you think how we speak is indicative of what we think, it is yes. If you take how young people talk as a signal, the answer is most certainly yes.
Where did “No problem” as a substitute for “You’re welcome” come from in the first place? Maybe it has grown out of the public’s penchant for placing price above service in making a purchase. Maybe the public expects so little service in our stores and institutions that there is no longer an expectation for service, and there is “No problem,” . . .
. . . but that is another axe to grind.
“You're welcome!”
“No Problem”
Axes to Grind
Copyright © 2010 Michael J. McCabe
All Rights Reserved.
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